Blogging and stuff

Maybe I will not make money from blogging. Maybe I won’t make and sell colouring books. Maybe it is all too hard to try and build a family business, or set up in online publishing, or a gallery, or media such as online film/tv/radio/animation, or an indie record label. Maybe I could just get a little job proofreading stuff.

Perhaps all of this will turn out to be a little personal blog which had some big dreams, and found that it would take too much to accomplish them.

I’ve been through many different ways to set up shop, and the $54 in total I have made was mostly from selling downloadable colouring pictures directly from my own blog.

Perhaps the blog needs to be separated from the business side of life. I am looking into a separate website for commercial use. I feel a bit sad about it, since I know I have a certain amount of hours in the day, and pouring time and effort into a separate commercial blog, may take away much of my time here on these personal blogs.

There is a certain ‘safety’ in the impersonal nature of professional communications. I feel like it would be a step away from learning how to talk about personal things which are of deep concern. It is still difficult to talk about things related to trauma in person, face-to-face, although I notice that I am able to divert or postpone a conversation, rather than lose track of my surroundings and sort of disappear into the trauma-related conversation. It is still upsetting to have it brought up unexpectedly in conversation.

I have about one and a half months before it will be brought up in conversation, with the possibility of losing our home as a possible result of that conversation. I may have to move back to where the trauma happened. Who knows, perhaps this may be the best thing, anyway.

Two options, one to carry on, and push through with everything I have got. The other to give up, or put things on the back burner. I don’t think it is as simple as this. There is so much I have learned from blogging, and from meeting so many different bloggers, with so many different experiences, and ways of running their blogs.

My little foray into advertising has given me an idea of what is required to set up for selling. Thing is, would take all my time doing the selling side of things, and would I have time left to make things? So I wonder, do I make things, and find someone else to sell them? Or sell things, and find other people to make them?

Or I could just get a little proofreading job somehow, somewhere, and forget about everything else. Maybe start writing creatively and reading fiction, which is something which stopped due to trauma, decades ago. It is good to be reading fiction again. Difficult, but not too difficult. Certainly not freaking me out. ๐Ÿ™‚

With the thought of this being a personal blog, I can think of disconnecting other things like LinkedIn, and stop any form of advertising on my blog. Perhaps it could work. My kids have learned a huge amount about setting up in self-employment and online marketing through this whole process and that will give them a good start.

This may be a response to certain stressors over the last week. I watched a video this morning which showed the elation of starting towards a goal, and the elation of accomplishing it at the end, and this big part in the middle which is just plain hard, and feels like a good time to give up.

Just to let you know, I feel like giving up sometimes. There is a big part of me that always says, wait until tomorrow. I may feel much better in the morning. Usually this is true, and if not, I wait until the next morning, and the next, until things inevitably change.

I also pray a lot.

Perhaps I would have more time, if I simply took a proofreading job… It is something I have never really considered doing before as I thought it would drive me nutty checking every single word. Strangely, now that I have tried it, it really is quite enjoyable. I feel useful, it is reasonably easy work for me, it can be done online, from home, and involves no heavy lifting!

Perhaps there are lots of authors who are writing as a hobby, with a substantial income from elsewhere, who would be quite happy to hire a proofreader for their novel, or short stories, or children’s books, or memoirs.

I will have to give it some thought overnight. The colouring book may have reached its pinnacle. Book number two is almost ready. It takes a day to draw up a new “Circle” for the series, in between other tasks. Takes a bit out of me, due to it being hands-on art. Lots of housework and garden work this week or so, it is wearing me out a little.

Since I was about seven years old, I had the thought of publishing other people’s work. People who were good at telling stories. I wanted to make the stories into a treasured book.

I have had other passing fancies, such as becoming a famous artist, or a movie star. They weren’t the same sort of feeling as my desire to create something which made a treasure out of what other people had created. That dream involved a lot more love. It was like the other people didn’t know what a treasure they were. What a treasure their words were. What treasures they created. And I wanted them to know. I wanted everyone to know.

Those other people, were my family.

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5 Comments

  1. Don’t give up. Never, give up. Put on a back burner? Sometimes, we need to do this, but not as far as you have come. Look at what you will have to do all over again. Good Luck to you, whatever you decide. No one knows what needs to be done, but you. ‘HUGS’

    Reply
    • Debbie you are wonderful. What a strong voice in the middle of the low feelings. Thank you, and the HUGS are most appreciated!

      I will give it a bit of time, sometimes I think things out too much, it might be time to step back and let my mind rest from it. Something usually comes up when I stop worrying about things and let my mind relax.

      I love doing an artwork a day, and freely sharing it with everyone. Perhaps if I could get a simple job which I can do and then forget about, then I could simply carry on with the free colouring book, and forget about everything else for a while.

      Thank you for being here, Debbie. xxx

      Much love,
      Anasera

      Reply

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