Blogging and stuff

Maybe I will not make money from blogging. Maybe I won’t make and sell colouring books. Maybe it is all too hard to try and build a family business, or set up in online publishing, or a gallery, or media such as online film/tv/radio/animation, or an indie record label. Maybe I could just get a little job proofreading stuff.

Perhaps all of this will turn out to be a little personal blog which had some big dreams, and found that it would take too much to accomplish them.

I’ve been through many different ways to set up shop, and the $54 in total I have made was mostly from selling downloadable colouring pictures directly from my own blog.

Perhaps the blog needs to be separated from the business side of life. I am looking into a separate website for commercial use. I feel a bit sad about it, since I know I have a certain amount of hours in the day, and pouring time and effort into a separate commercial blog, may take away much of my time here on these personal blogs.

There is a certain ‘safety’ in the impersonal nature of professional communications. I feel like it would be a step away from learning how to talk about personal things which are of deep concern. It is still difficult to talk about things related to trauma in person, face-to-face, although I notice that I am able to divert or postpone a conversation, rather than lose track of my surroundings and sort of disappear into the trauma-related conversation. It is still upsetting to have it brought up unexpectedly in conversation.

I have about one and a half months before it will be brought up in conversation, with the possibility of losing our home as a possible result of that conversation. I may have to move back to where the trauma happened. Who knows, perhaps this may be the best thing, anyway.

Two options, one to carry on, and push through with everything I have got. The other to give up, or put things on the back burner. I don’t think it is as simple as this. There is so much I have learned from blogging, and from meeting so many different bloggers, with so many different experiences, and ways of running their blogs.

My little foray into advertising has given me an idea of what is required to set up for selling. Thing is, would take all my time doing the selling side of things, and would I have time left to make things? So I wonder, do I make things, and find someone else to sell them? Or sell things, and find other people to make them?

Or I could just get a little proofreading job somehow, somewhere, and forget about everything else. Maybe start writing creatively and reading fiction, which is something which stopped due to trauma, decades ago. It is good to be reading fiction again. Difficult, but not too difficult. Certainly not freaking me out. 🙂

With the thought of this being a personal blog, I can think of disconnecting other things like LinkedIn, and stop any form of advertising on my blog. Perhaps it could work. My kids have learned a huge amount about setting up in self-employment and online marketing through this whole process and that will give them a good start.

This may be a response to certain stressors over the last week. I watched a video this morning which showed the elation of starting towards a goal, and the elation of accomplishing it at the end, and this big part in the middle which is just plain hard, and feels like a good time to give up.

Just to let you know, I feel like giving up sometimes. There is a big part of me that always says, wait until tomorrow. I may feel much better in the morning. Usually this is true, and if not, I wait until the next morning, and the next, until things inevitably change.

I also pray a lot.

Perhaps I would have more time, if I simply took a proofreading job… It is something I have never really considered doing before as I thought it would drive me nutty checking every single word. Strangely, now that I have tried it, it really is quite enjoyable. I feel useful, it is reasonably easy work for me, it can be done online, from home, and involves no heavy lifting!

Perhaps there are lots of authors who are writing as a hobby, with a substantial income from elsewhere, who would be quite happy to hire a proofreader for their novel, or short stories, or children’s books, or memoirs.

I will have to give it some thought overnight. The colouring book may have reached its pinnacle. Book number two is almost ready. It takes a day to draw up a new “Circle” for the series, in between other tasks. Takes a bit out of me, due to it being hands-on art. Lots of housework and garden work this week or so, it is wearing me out a little.

Since I was about seven years old, I had the thought of publishing other people’s work. People who were good at telling stories. I wanted to make the stories into a treasured book.

I have had other passing fancies, such as becoming a famous artist, or a movie star. They weren’t the same sort of feeling as my desire to create something which made a treasure out of what other people had created. That dream involved a lot more love. It was like the other people didn’t know what a treasure they were. What a treasure their words were. What treasures they created. And I wanted them to know. I wanted everyone to know.

Those other people, were my family.

Advertisements

Aside

Tired, heavy
Sweating profusely
60, to 58, to 56kg
Mentally agile
Frequently sleeping.

Perhaps I am tired.
I will sleep once again.

It crosses my mind
that a big change
may be enfolding
me in its hot embrace
like that of a furnace
foundry melting pot
ready to come out tempered
ready to come out new.

Private life of me

Public life is easier with an anonymous identity. In real life, when I meet people face to face, and then sit down at my blog, I become acutely aware that that person may be looking at what I write! Reality is that they may not ever read a word I write.

Sooooooo……. (looks up at ceiling) I have to get over this self-consciousness.

Could crawling back into my shell cure the problem? (laughs)

I am also aware of my family quietly checking in on the latest news (waves – “Hi Mum!”)

All those things that come to mind to write about are quickly discarded, such as trauma, health, relationships, business progress, religion, my emotional life – especially through poetry, and pretty much everything.

The colouring book is fiiiine, it doesn’t seem to get affected by self-consciousness.

Perhaps I could don an anonymous personality purely for my writing, and start afresh! This blog actually has become pretty quiet lately, and seems to have lost a definite focus. It’s been a bit all over the place since I started to get serious about earning an income online.

If you are visiting for the first time, or a regular follower, pleeease share any tips on what you might do to get over this sort of self-consciousness. Is the anonymous way the best bet do you think?

Or would it work to dedicate this blog to a certain thing, such as poetry, and make every post a piece of poetry? I appreciate your input!

Mantis exodus

Baby mantises look outside

Hey, buddy! The exit is over here!

Baby mantises mass exodus

Whoa, be quick, we are being followed!
Hey, why are we glowing?

Baby mantises team huddle

Team talk, gang! Time for a huddle! Where did those two go?

We took such great care not to disturb the foamy mantis egg case, and it has paid off! We have hundreds of little friends to keep us amused. Many of them went out the window, and yet there are still odd ones turning up on my computer, or hunting for things to eat on my desk… unsuccessfully. They are surprisingly agile, and springy. Once I herd them on to my finger they try leaping off as soon as they can. They are a bit like grasshoppers at this age. Skinny ones with bug-eyes and swivelling triangle heads.

DSC09421

Mantis egg case – Photo courtesy Shaquin.

 

Did you know that mantises are great friends for the garden? They eat all sorts of pesky bugs like mosquitos, flies, night-moths, and vege-munching caterpillars!

More info at http://www.gardeninsects.com/prayingMantis.asp

Dear friends…

I have something called “pitting edema” and I believe it is most likely related to the effects of long-term stress on the endocrine system and organs such as kidneys, liver and heart. So I am going to take a rest.

(Naughty me, I have not been resting properly for quite some time.)

Soooo… Goodniiiiight!

(Puts feet up, and thinks of pleasant things…)

{Snore….. snore…… zzzZZZzzzzzzzz}

Back on deck

What a long walk… about seven hours, give or take. I reckon I can give my heart a clean bill of health, what with climbing a small mountain, and going on a bit of a trek. I had a night away from home and then got stuck into re-arranging things and doing a big tidy up when I got back.

There’s a lot on my mind. The pressure is off somewhat on the work front. It is wonderful how a set timeframe can bring relief, and a breathing space to quietly plan things. My concentration had been going out the window, and my stress levels had been steadily rising.  The coolest thing is, I get to meet with someone every three weeks to talk about progress. And if I haven’t made money during the six-months, then it’s time to look at other options.

Like maybe cleaning for a couple of hours a day… or some sort of two days a week job. And then the blog and everything can become something that I can do in my own time, and without stress.

You know, I got the year wrong the other day. I thought it was 2012. Probably because it was when I last remember having so much fun.  It’s no big deal except it is the way I calculate my age.  (I don’t celebrate birthdays, and don’t make a special note of how old I am.) So… not only did I tell someone I was a year younger than I am, I also went on to show my math prowess, by using a plus instead of a minus, or vice versa, so actually I am not three years older than the person I was talking to… I am three years younger!  I think that the dental anaesthetic may have got to my brain that day!

That’s my excuse, anyways, and I’m sticking to it!

Anyone else have funny moments with maths and numbers?

Homeschool work-at-home single parents

I am in search of moral support and a look into how others manage in a similar position. Here’s a few of my findings.

~

Examples of types of work done by folk who work while homeschooling. There’s a wide variety!

http://a2zhomeschooling.com/main_articles/working_from_home_while_homeschooling/

~

Some interesting statistics, and how to fit homeschooling into weekends and holidays.

http://a2zhomeschooling.com/main_articles/single_working_parent_family/

~

Single, but not Alone. An article on the difficulties faced when homeschooling as a single parent, and how faith fits into the picture.

http://www.hslda.org/courtreport/V27N1/V27N101.asp

~

Working outside the home full-time, while homeschooling. It was interesting to learn how this family took their child with them to work.

http://homeedmag.com/HEM/193/mjwork.php

~

The Real Reason Parents Don’t Homeschool… And I will investigate this further a bit later on, as I see the writer has three startups under her belt. And lots of links to explore in her article.

http://homeschooling.penelopetrunk.com/2013/01/24/the-real-reason-parents-dont-homeschool/

~

This weekend, I am actually going to have a “weekend.”

Hope you all enjoy your weekends too!

I will be up at 2.30am Sunday for Twitter @Artist_Chat on the #ArtistChat hashtag, for the interview with author/artist Arthur H. Browne of the Pouring My Art Out Blog.  Apparently that’s 7.30am Pacific Time, or 10.30am EST Saturday. Perhaps we’ll see you there!

Meeting people is fun

There is not much cooler than a piano on the street for anyone to play. It really gets people connected. Like, musically…

Is there a piano in your main street?

Work

“Roll your works upon Jehovah himself and your plans will be firmly established.” ~ Proverbs 16:3

I am here…

I just don’t know what to do.