Sleep

SLEEP

Brain foggy, wipers blunt
Sleep is vibrantly alive, kicking
me into action, 24/7, no time to stop

Get up, get moving

Every second is too heavy,
and sleep is nasty

poking me with a stick

propping my eyelids open
with grit
and determination
Mustn’t be late

for what?

Sleep eats my memories
tossing me aside
with the peelings

the shards

wrapped in old news
paper, thin
and hungry
Sleep now demented
forces me down

with sudden aggression
bangs my head forward to the ground
which falls up to meet me

and pins me down
heavily, laughing
and totally in control

I do not surrender

I wait for sleep
The cat meows outside the door

in surreal waltz time

as sleep finally slumbers

and I fall…

Advertisements

Changes

Some changes of plan
Our $5000 goal stripped
to a skinny fifth

Our extended tour retracted
to a short flight
with clipped wings

Direction in life
solidifies
like lava rocks
lining a molten river

To combine goals
First collect
ingredients
A Car,
A House,
A Dream
Of friends
Meeting
Over Seas

Children
Grow
Tall
So
Fast
and
the
Nest
shrinks
down
to
1
.

Proof of my addiction to blogging

Yes, I am here, and I had intended to keep the laptop lid shut all day today. The sun is shining and we have not walked out the door to walk in it yet!

I had to let people know, that when you sell your e-books through Amazon, you are allowed to earn a commission of up to 10% for advertising your own book. How cool is that? I mistakenly thought that the commission didn’t count if I referred it from a link on my own blog. Found out I was wrong yesterday!

All you e-book authors out there, make a little bit more by joining up on this link: https://affiliate-program.amazon.com/gp/associates/join/landing/main.html

(Don’t listen to me, I got the percentage wrong before, best just visit the site and decide for yourself.)

I am hoping that my brain is improving, although on the surface it may seem like it is not. I am in wait and see mode, and hopefully will not need to visit a doctor. I had a bit of a cold recently and near the end got all stuffed up in the sinuses, with a headache. Sorry to get all graphic here…. As it was clearing up, I had some bouts of fluid leaking from my nose, in an unusual manner. Funny colour too – transparent but slightly hmmm yellowy-orange? in colour.  Strangely reminded me of bile. And anyway, now I feel much better, and the cold is gone.

After a bit of research I am creating my own bit of fiction about my brain blowing up and bursting…. LOL! And that of course explains all my craziness…. In my invented story, I am much more calm and rational now than ever before, because my bubble popped and my brain is restored to normal size. Hehe, my kids tell another story… in which I am the same as ever…. Silly ole me!

Anyway, my day off was kind of hoping for time to let my brain cool off after all the work setting up another blog, which I am really wondering now if it was such a bright idea. I have too many really!

==== show’s over… that’s pretty well all the interesting stuff said and done, just boring notes to myself about my blogs beyond this point! Sorry folks! ====

I may squash my photography blog into this blog. Maybe.

My wildersoul.com blog has been a great place to learn about what doesn’t work for me. That’s partly why I started the new dissolvingbuildings.com blog. There are still things that work best on a self-hosted domain though. Any tricky things that need a script. Like the utilities that my son makes. Have you seen the blank-circle-frame generator? That won’t run on this blog, or on the paid WP.com blog. And the embedded Amazon shop is pretty cool. Can’t be embedded here, only linked, which takes the viewer off-site).

The problem with PayPal. It sends me your email and your name attached to your PayPal account. (I received my first payment just recently and so now I know.) This presents a problem. I would need to win people’s trust, and that would include providing a privacy policy, and some sort of security of data assurance written into terms of service or something like that. Legal stuff.  Basically, “I won’t use your email address for anything except correspondence about your purchase, and will not give it out to anyone else.”

So although selling direct means a lower price for the buyer, and a higher commission for me, it comes with its own problems. Selling through Amazon, although they take commission off for themselves, has a trusted payment system in place.

CreateSpace has a thing where I can order my paperbacks at cost price, which is about $2.15 (US), and then I can change the delivery address to send the books to the person who wants to buy them. I will have to check if there is free delivery within the US.  This could be a good option for bulk orders, for schools, or hospitals. I could ask for a very small commission on top. This could be good for orders of say 10 books for a therapist’s waiting room.

I feel disappointed about the PayPal situation. However, perhaps it is all part of building up a reputation and a brand, and putting all of the legal bits in place. That’s a big job to do and requires some research, and possibly trusting a lawyer of some sort.

The dissolvingbuildings.com blog has bridged a gap between my blog world, and my extended family. Which is a good thing, and is a stepping stone to connecting to the neighbourhood and community.

I have bottled up some excitement in what I call a special treat for myself. I bought a guillotine, no don’t call me Madame! And refilled the toner for our black and white printer, so I will be very soon designing colouring books and printing, trimming and stapling them myself. And printing off sheets of business cards on the special cardboard I bought. So the physical advertising in the community will start fairly soon.

Hopefully I will settle into a bit of a routine over the next week or two. I find it very hard to switch into new habits, it takes time and repetition. If you are reading all this boring stuff, then please bear with me over the next few weeks as I behave a bit like a spider in a spaceship, making very deranged-looking webs for a while, until I get things figured out and things are beautifully in order again.

Final thoughts… I want my wildersoul.wordpress.com free online colouring book mostly focused as a resource for those healing from trauma, of any kind. Any kind of therapeutic use. And of course available for children, homeschoolers, and others who love to colour. Because of this, I am not so keen on having a shop attached, or advertising on the site. All of that can zip over to dissolvingbuildings.com, which is really where we will chase our dreams, and set up in business as a family. In itself that is a very healing thing for our family. And it is leading on to changes in our offline life too. One of us has a part-time job offer for the next six months at least. When there is a motivated goal, then things start to fall into place.

Wishing you all the best for the weekend, if you have read this far! You deserve a break! (smiling…)

Anasera.

PS. don’t worry about my brain. It is probably inflamed from me eating wheat. We had a huge spicy moist carrot cake with cream cheese icing for our blog opening celebrations… and it is all gone now. Naughty me.

No better time to start than straight away.

Tired
Sinking In
Mire of Sleep
Vivid dreams
Memories

Awaken
Within me
Horror of Past
Silent clarity
Again

Fear
Slips away
Into the shadows
Light beckons
Me


Thought I’d try a one, two, three method. Well, 1, 2, 3, 2, 1. Would you like to have a go?

Business Therapy

Or Business School. I’m going to share what I’m up to, and then ask you a question at the end.

  1. Free colouring book with fast, easy drawing. Low time, low (no) cost, low quality…
  2. Sellbox shop with listings on Wildersoul.com. Medium time, low cost, higher quality.
  3. Spoonflower designs made to order, medium time, higher cost, higher quality
  4. Etsy shop with handmade one-off artworks created from Spoonflower designs, on fabric. Highest time, highest cost, highest quality.

To work on next:

  • Keep loading up daily artwork for free colouring book. In a way, this is absolutely free promotion of anything else I create. It is literally a look at the artist’s drawing board, with scribbles and sketches of ideas that may blossom into something later.
  • Create a beautiful and intricate artwork from my Spoonflower design. (Butterfly design on fabric – using beads and fabric paint, and who knows what else. It may turn into a beautiful bag of some sort…)
  • Figure out how to have all my blogs on Wildersoul.com, so I have only one point of contact. The trick is to make it so it is text only, mostly, on the front page, so that it loads quickly and easily. And also have all of the colouring pictures display as a gallery with no text. I think I can achieve this by carefully adding categories, and putting them into a menu. Or else I will have to figure out some coding, and how to use shortcodes.

Other ideas brewing:

  • A regular radio broadcast
  • A regular tv channel, you know, YouTube channel. With broadcasts, perhaps via Google+
  • Twitter poetry – 140 character poems. Perhaps it could make a good e-book, with photos and/or artwork added.
  • Skype or Gmail video chat available for face-to-face video chat.

My drive to share freely is in gratitude for the wonderfully supportive bloggers on WP, and also in a spirit of passing on what has helped me to heal.

My drive to start a business is to make money to support my family. Call me old fashioned, it kind of breaks my heart, as I believe in the Man having the role of providing for the family. The way I frame this in my mind, is that I am giving my kids the direct experience of seeing and being involved in a business start-up. Gotta be good for them. I love it when they come up with something better. I like to stimulate ideas, and head them down tracks they may not have considered. And then watch them run with it, in directions beyond my imagination or ability.

In the meantime… I am thoroughly enjoying the art I do with my own hands. Finally I am really starting to add colour. Somehow my mind is also tuning in to what other people want or need, that I could perhaps provide.

For now, here’s my question to you: What are your dreams, plans and goals? What is important to you in life right now? And what are your challenges, or disappointments, and how do you frame them so as to get on with things? (Big question…!)